Dear Neighbors,

Thank you so much for inviting Dan and I to your hot-tub party last night. I'm sure you sent out a formal invitation, but since we didn't receive one, I'm assuming it just got lost in the mail. Normally, at 2:15 am, we are sound asleep in our beds, but how exciting it was to be ripped from our slumber by the shrieking of half naked girls and yelling from you and your roommate. We loved listening to your loud and annoying chatter that I'm sure was alcohol induced. We especially liked that you continued your party until 4:30 am, ensuring that we stayed up with you while you enjoyed your good time. We hope you liked the gift we sent over. We called in a special delivery from the Police, just for you. We'll be more than happy to call them again, should the need arise.

Sincerely,

You're sleep deprived neighbors